wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
