he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
