i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
