on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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