help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Randomize
