what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
