just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Randomize
