i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
