I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
We need a shit load of segways right now
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
