Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
