her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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