im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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