I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
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Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
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nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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