I just threw up on my dentist
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
