You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
