I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
