So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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