My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
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I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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