There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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