how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
