franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize
