Soap is not a condiment
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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