In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
why is half of my head shaved?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
