I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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