So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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