Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
