I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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