hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
