This is not my ceiling
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
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