hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
