I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
