Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
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