It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize