So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
