I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
