And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
