I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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