You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
So here I am, sexting at work.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
