what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Pants are for mortals
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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