Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
