I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
