Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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