I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
