is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
third nipple confirmed
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
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