I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
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just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
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PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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