there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
