Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
