Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
