so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize