He uses pillows to masturbate.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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