I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
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I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
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I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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