So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I could fuck to npr.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Randomize
