He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
