i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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