i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
