just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Holy sore nipples Batman
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
