yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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