i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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